A cold nightmare (Alaska POV)

It’s a cold nightmare. It is a walking, living, cold, winter-like nightmare I live through everyday. Everyday with “him.” He was the one who raised me after my mother left me in the bitter cold. He was the one who held my hand when I was alone. He was the one who said, “I love you and you will never leave my side, right?” He was the one who meant it. He will always mean it. Always. He will show it from his kindness to his childlike punishments. At least to his “favorites” of course. I was one of them. Lithuania and me will know this and will never forget the scars. Ever.

I was like him, he said. I was left in the bitter cold to survive alone with no one to hold me or see a sunflower to guide my happiness and me. He wanted me to feel like I was nothing on this earth. Nothing. He wanted me to see that I was a mistake or I was the reason why chaos was born. He likes to see people suffer the way he did, even to the people who cared for him. But why me?  He chose me because I was different. I was so different in appearance. He was tall, violet eyed, blond hair, and light peach skin. I was tan skinned, dark gray eyed and had long black hair. He liked different, he always did. But he will show it in the most horrible of ways.

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It was a cold winter night; Alaska (Aleu) came back from a state meeting in the lower 48. It was the same old, same old. Colorado making fun of her breast size, Rhode Island is being made fun of his height and fights, fights, fights. Nothing was finished or completed. Alaska was ticked off that it was the same thing, over and over again. She wonders “why can’t we finish a project for once.”

It was a long day, and all she wants to do is to have the time to rest, feed her dogs and sit near the fireplace with a nice cup of warm coco.

When Alaska reached to her house, she pulled out a key and flickered the door lock. She hums a sweet tune while she begins to unlock the door. “Guys! I’m home! Balto? Coco? Where are you?”  She walked into her unusually quiet room.

“Guys where ar-!” She couldn’t finished her sentence due to something unusual caught her eye. It was an empty bottle. It was an empty vodka bottle. She doesn’t drink vodka, well not anymore. She picked up the bottle and stared at it for a bit. “What is this doing here? Did the dogs dig it out?” Alaska asked herself while observing.  The bottle seems new looking and the vodka smell toxic the bottle. While observing, a shadow seems to crossing over her till it was behind her.

”Darling! Welcome home. I have been waiting for such a long time. I thought you weren’t coming home today. I got worried~!” it used familiar voice the shadow spoke with.

Alaska noticed the voice and froze in place. It was him! How did get in her house? What did he do to her dogs? How long was he here? Why is he here? “G-good e-ev-evening…Mr. Russia.” She spoke in a quiet voice. Not paying attention to the bottle, she dropped it onto the floor. All that she could do is panic.

Ivan watched the bottle crashed to the ground and break into tiny little pieces. He only could watch with glee, hoping that Alaska will break just like the bottle. “Oh no, clumsy darling is being clumsy. You should clean it up, da? But you will do it later! I want to play a game! Lithuania and me played this game all the time before he went back to Poland. You will like it as much as Lithuania did!” Ivan told her in his singly song voice.

Alaska snapped back to reality when she heard the “game.” The game was what Lithuania has been through to protect Alaska and the others. The game that makes him scream and cry for help. The game that gives him bruises, scars and pain in his lower areas. The game that he wants us to stay away from…for good.

Aleu needed to get out of this position and call Canada for help. She looked at Ivan who had an evil look in his eyes. “Sir…I am busy with something with… Mr.Canada, yeah! I better head out.” She fast walked to the nearest exit, till she was stopped with a, “Aleu Juno Braginsky, come back here at once.” He used his serious voice to grab her attention. “You don’t need to go. You want to go. Come back here at once young lady. You are going to be punished either way. If you leave me again, you won’t walk for a week missy, da? I will make sure of that!” Alaska froze again, more terrified than before. When Ivan calls someone by their full name, he meant something serious. She skipped the level of getting into trouble to being in danger. She needed to get out of here or be scarred again.

”Now be a good girl and lets play in your room.” Ivan said while placing a hand on her shoulder. Instead of obeying, she jolts to the exit quickly. That was all she can do. Escape and run away from the monster. She jumped in front of the door and twisted the knob. But one problem, the door was locked! She kept flickering the knob over and over again. No luck. She was hopeless. Broken bottles blocked the other exits and chairs were in the ways of escape routes. She kept flickering over and over till she was falling onto her knees crying. This was the end of her innocence and her happiness. It might be the end of her.

Russia walked to her and scooped her from the ground. “Bad girl. You disobeyed me. That’s a very naughty thing to do, da? Now you need to take your punishment. This will be fun, da?”
Aleu couldn’t do anything, but cry in self-pity. One way or another, she was going to be scarred. “Why? Why you chose me to torture? What makes me a toy to you? Why can’t you leave me alone!?”  Alaska whined and sobbed on her hands.

Ivan saw her crying and couldn’t help, but to smile. He finally broke her like the bottle from earlier. “Oh darling. I don’t want to torture you; I want to love you with all of my heart! I pick you because you are different. Your hair, skin and eyes are so different from your American siblings. You are a rare doll.  You are my rare doll, of course. You and Toris showed me kindness and I am in need to repay you!” Ivan smiled and gave Aleu an Eskimo kiss. Aleu tried to move her head away from the kiss, but of course Ivan was in control now. “Remember this kiss? You taught me that when you were just a tiny Eskimo~! Oh your face is so warm, your body is so warm. I don’t want to leave this moment, do you?” Alaska wanted to leave, but she couldn’t say no.

”I am glad that no one is here to disturb us. It’s so peaceful. No Toris, No Novgorod, No America, No Canada-“

”I want you to let me go.” Alaska interrupted Ivan’s daydream. “I-I am not a toy to play around with! If Toris can escape your torture, so can I!”

Ivan glanced at her. “Torture? This is love. Lithuania went back to that…Polish fag. You won’t leave my side. I won’t let you. I don’t care if you are part of America. I don’t care if you are happy there. What matters is that I am happy, right? And you. You are nothing; you are a dirty sidewalk that your siblings walk all over you! But to me, you are a doll. You are just a doll I treasure. That is what you are. You hear me? Good, now you carry out your punishment.” He turned around and headed to the bedroom. Aleu kept crying on her hands. She was hopeless. Her scars will remain in her heart forever.

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Morning was here at last. It was the end of Aleu’s nightmare…for now. But the pain still remain everywhere on her body and soul. Aleu kept lying on her bed with covers all over her. She couldn’t sleep, speak or cry after what Ivan did to her. The pain between her legs will last for a week or maybe longer. But the pain in her heart will never heal. The deed was finished. Russia got what he wanted. He made her fall apart with screams, cries and blood.

Ivan left Aleu’s house after they finished playing the “game,” which was around 4:30 am. He cleaned up any evidence that will show proof that he raped and torture Aleu for his own pleasures. He let the dogs inside the house and finally fixed the doors.
“I’m surprised you let me do this to you. You finally know what you are in this world. A toy that belongs to me.”

As he slammed the front door behind him, Aleu sat up and started to cry again. Why did she let him touch her? She was weak. She was no strong nation to defend for herself. She was a weak out-of-stater who was alone. The 48 states didn’t improve of her. Hawaii didn’t defend her and Canada just listen to her cries, but never helped. Their excuses were, “You are scary. Russia is stronger than me. If you weren’t such a whore, he wouldn’t touch you that way.”

Alaska looked at the window and saw some Canadian geese flying up, up, up in the gray snowing sky. Aleu kept watching till they disappeared. “Why can’t I be like them? They are free from torture. They have each other. Why can’t I have everything they have? Why am I his?” She sniffed and lays her head on the pillow that secure her face for the rest of the day.



Artist note: I hope I didn’t make Russia OOC. I like how the story turned out to me except for the ending XD;; Well I picture Alaska and Lithuania share the same fate when it comes to Russia and they are live next to Russia so…yeah. Btw Alaska is a Inuit in my story and not related to Ivan in anyway. She was his adopted daughter till America till her. I hope you didn’t mind me adding some State tans in the story XD